Currently Listening To: Kenny Chesney - Who You Would Be Today

Heyyyyy everybody. God damn its been a long time since I've last blogged. I've been really busy with school work, we had to have this two page paper double spaced due today. It's been rockin my shit but it will probably be good cause I fucking kick ass at that shit, I mean I'm a pretty decent writer, I do have my own blog, its not like u can just go make one, they don't hand them out to everybody. College professors are so stupid, you just gotta put a ton of big words in your're paper and they think your smart and a good writer. Im so kick ass, I really am, everyone wants to be my friend on facebook. This one kid from South Carolina asked to be my friend like 8 times. I don’t want to give away his identity, so his initials are J. S. and his name sounds like “deaf with”. His name is Jeff Smith. I think he has a man crush on me, which is really gay but I can see why because im landon fucking albus hardcore and everybody wants me, even dudes. I excepted his friendship because I felt sorry for him because he probably gets no chicks and is canadian. Freakin loser. It's Thursday and I'll probably get really drunk with some of my frat bros and some sororistitutes that all want my ding-a-ling and ballsack. I'm Landon Albus raging it to the max. Cya next time Losers.

Currently Listening To: New Found Glory - I Don't Wanna Know

Heyyyyyy losers. Today was just another typical Albus day for the most part. Me being kick ass and prettymuch all chicks wanting me and loser douchebags wanting to be me. I thought I had to have a newspaper for one of my classes today so I bought one. Newspapers are cheap by the way, I’ve never bough one before, I had no idea. But then we didn’t have to have it for class, I was so freakin pissed that I had bought the newspaper. Then the rest of the day I just carried around the newspaper so people thought I was freakin smart and read a lot. Oh man, I’ts so refreshing to be as kick ass as I am. Tonight some of the frat bros were gonna watch that jet lee movie Hero with all the sweet fight scenes. They didn’t tell me it was freaking having subtitles. Fuck that so I bounced on that. Im not gonna freaking read a movie. Reading is gay. Cya next time losers.

Currently Listening To: My Chemical Romance - Helena

Yo Yo Yo! Landon in the building! So this weekend, some of the frat boys and I got together and played some poker. I was like “this is sooo gay, how come we aren’t playing strip poker with some drunk lades???” When I said that, I knew they thought I was cool, cause I wanted to see drunk girls get naked. Then, I bluffed this guy so hardcore, I showed him my cards and was like, “you just got bluffed, go cry to your mama” Haha, he was all pissed, but the other guys thought it was funny. We all have the same sense of humor, that what makes our frat so much better than any others. I dunno, I’m pretty depressed cause I didn’t pull any ass this weekend. One of our keggers got busted. I wasn’t scared though, I just ran, no fat cop could catch me, Landon Albus. I kick so much ass. Cya next time Losers.

Currently Listening To: Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue

Heyyy all of you. So some dudes are pretty jealous of me on facebook, I think they're mad at me cause there "women" want me. Yeah, like those dudes could ever get women. That, or they are gay and they totally wanna to tap my ass. That's so gross, but it's probably true. The cool thing about them though is their facebook picture. They're drinking beer and stuff and dress nice like I do. I know all you girls can't resist a guy with a picture of himself drinking beer, or without a shirt or with a popped collar on their facebook page. That fucking kicks ass, kinda like me. I'm fucking Landon Albus which means I'm not a pussy. To the guys hating on Landon Albus, Your all idiots! If you got my back, show me some love on the wall. Cya next time Losers.

Currently Listening To: Brad Paisley - Alcohol

Heyyyyy fools, I'm taking time off from kicking ass to write in my blog. Not! My name is Landon Albus isn't it? I never stop kicking ass, I roll that shit 24/7 hardcore because I'm so badass. I kick more ass in my sleep than you ever have in your life. I had to go to the post office today to mail a birthday card. It is my grandmas like 90th birthday or something but it was like a month ago and I've been so freaking busy I haven't been able to do it. Shes so old though, she wont even notice. Old people are freaking idiots. Like this old person in front of me at the post office today. She was so dumb, she was mailing a post card and she freaking filled out some form for it like for international or something and then didn't even have to use it! Then she bought delivery tracking like an idiot and also insurance. It was a freaking postcard, I was like "Your an idiot!" inside my head. Then I started laughing to myself a little bit because of how hilarious I was. Then this lady came in with her kid and they were behind me. She was probably like 30 or something, not really a MILF but I would definitely tap it after a few brew dogs. She had a nice rack on her. I grabbed some pamphlet behind me so I could check out her boobs as too the pamphlet. Her kid was like 5 and was standing right behind me. I had to fart and tried to make it an SBD but you could kind of hear it still. The kids head was right by my ass and he got the full load of that shit, WIND GUST TO THE FACE! HAHA LOL! Oh man that sucks for that kid, he started telling his mom how it smelled after than but then it was my turn to go to the desk. Haha, god damn I'm so funny I should be illegal. Cya next time Losers.

Currently Listening To: 2 Pac - I don't know what its called

Heeeyyy losers. Today sucked big time, and that doesn't happen a lot for me. Seriously, this was probably one of the worst days of my life. I really haven't bee feeling like my kick ass self. First my roommate Jordan turned off my X-Box when he knew I had a game of Madden 06 running. I had like a half of a season going with like 300 madden challenge points the fucking bastard. Now its all down the toilet. Hes a little fucking bitch, he did it because I'm friends with this really hot chick he likes on facebook. All the ladies fucking want me. So when I woke up this morning and found out I jumped on him and started kicking his ass and my fucking livestrong band broke during the fight. I fucking hate that guy right now I loved that livestrong bracelet. Even though they are only a dollar I don't really want to buy a new one. Ive seen these cool white ones people have been wearing around ill probably get one of those eventhough i dont know what the fuck they mean. Then today in English class we had to have our intro and conclusion done and my teacher freaking totally ripped it apart. On top of that we had to go into my uno blackboard or whatever it is for something and I couldn't figure it out so this fat chick next to me had to help me. It was so fucking embarrassing. She was all rubbing up against me. Whatever, maybe if I was drunk I would be feeling that. Oh well, I'll probably just make fun of some people and kick there ass tonight because im a fucking badass. Cya later Losers.

Currently Playing: Madden '06

HOLLLAAA! What's up everyone? Yea yea. All I gots to say is I am so awesome. I have been on facebook for like only 2 days or something and I am getting invited by everyone to come out and party with them. Damn, I am so fucking cool. I know everyone wants me to come out and party with them so i have started the "invite Landon to your party cause I'm So Kick Ass!!" page. click on it if you want me to KICK ASS at your party. you have to be a really hot girl too. i take no fat girls here, cause i am way too cool for them. ahaha! LOL! i am so kick ass!

well i gotta get going now i have school in the morning, damn i hate school, it sucks so much!! Cya next time losers.

Currently Listening To: Fall out Boy - Sugar, We're Goin Down

Heyyyy fools! So i've been on facebook for like one day and I've already got a ton of hot chicks as friends on there. eventhough some are "in a relationship" I'll probably end up banging them anyway, I'm Landon Fucking Albus! Today in my english class we had to have the intro to our persuasive paper done for Thursday. We talked about topics in class. This kid in my group said he was going to do his called "George Bush Needs To Be Impeached" and was talking about it and really flipping his lid. I was like "your an idiot dude! George bush got elected twice!" Then i told him how i was in a cool frat and how i get a ton of chicks so he knew how much cooler i was then him. That's where i got the idea for My paper. Here is the title and intro.

"I'm So Kick Ass!"

My name is Landon Albus and I kick more ass then youv'e ever seen. I get with so many chicks its insane. I am so fucking cool it is unbelievable. I'm so kick ass because I kick a lot of ass, get with a lot of chicks and am really cool.

That's my intro so far. I'll probably add in some big words so my teacher thinks i'm smart. My teacher is cool because she lets us write cuss words in our papers. that kicks ass. Oh, and for all you idiots out there the last line is a thesis statement if you were too dumb to see that. I'll tell you guys how my paper goes when i finish it. I think i'm gonna go take a nap or play some Madden 06. TRUCK STICK!! Cya next time losers.

Currently Listening To: Something Corporate - Drunk Girl

Albus in your grill!!! This weekend was awesome, from what I can remember, haha! LoL! I signed up for the facebook because I finally checked my uno mail account. All of you guys need to become my friends…excsepcially if you are a hot girl, wink wink. I got a myspace account too. Went to a kegger this weekend and got super drunk. I was talking to this chick all night, I kept telling her my hobbies are lifting weights and volunteering, she was into that sort of thing. The next thing I remember, was waking up the next morning next to her. And let me tell you, I got out of the couch I was on with her as fast as I could, because she was uggggllllyyyy. The beer goggles were on pretty heavy last night. She is what I like to call a "Slump Buster" even though Albus never gets in slumps. Well nature calls, I'm gonna go drink a beer and read a playboy. Cya next time Losers.

Currently Listening To: Good Charlotte - Anthem

Heyyyyy all you, Albus in the hizzouse!!!! Class has been gay like usual, college would be sooo much better without classes. But I have this friggin hilarious story of me being funny in class today. The stupid teacher asked me this question about a book, and I go…”WHAT!?” just like dave chapelle and lil jon. She asked me the question again and I go “WHAT!?” Then she told me to stop doing that and I go “OooKay!” I was so classic. I also was trying to hit on this girl that sits beside me, she has this unbelievable rack. I’m always staring at it, sometimes she catches me, but I think she likes it, who wouldn’t want The Albus staring at them? But anyways, I told her this story about how I went to Jail once for punching this gay guy for hitting on me. I also said I was on probation too, I’m pretty sure she wanted me. I told her about this kegger my frats having, I really hope she comes and gets wasted. I was talking to a frat brother of mine, shane, about her, and how I think I want her. He told me I should probably try and hit it. We are really tight like that in our frat, we can talk about anything with each other. I think I’m gonna go start getting super wasted now, I’ll prolly beer bong like 8 beers. Well, pimping ain’t easy, except for me, HAHA. I’m such a pimp. Cya next time Losers.